Good morning 🙂
I’m a stay-at-home mother of four – three boys 11, 5 and 2, and my 6 month old daughter. As most of you know, my 11 year old son has been diagnosed with ADHD, and is on the verge of being diagnosed with depression and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Unable to sleep, I spent the quiet time researching, and stumbled across Thomas Liotta’s parenting method, dubbed Creating Champions For Life. In this way of parenting, you use a child’s wants as his/her goals, instead of saying NO to them and demanding results. It’s a way to acknowledge what’s important to the child, while creating clear expectations and boundaries at the same time.
For example, I’ve planned a trip to MCC with my kids this morning and Kailer is currently earning some spending money. When he asked for some cash, I saw a teaching opportunity. I gave him a list of five chores worth a dollar each. Now the onus falls on him to earn as much or as little as he chooses before we leave at 10:30am.
This isn’t a parenting techniques I’d necessarily use with all my kids – I use it successfully with Kailer because he wants so badly to make me happy, since he “fails” in most other areas of his life. Succeeding at home sets him up for success when he’s ready to set out on his own. My other kids aren’t defeated by the word NO because they don’t share the daily struggles of ADHD that Kailer does, which is why I use stricter parenting with them. Both styles must be implemented if consistency, though the consequences differ.
“Life’s a dance you learn as you go – sometimes you lead, and sometimes you follow.”