Yup, today’s MM is all about decluttering for cash 😀 I have stuff – oh boy, do I have stuff. So, today I’m getting it all together, taking pictures of it, posting it on the local Facebook buy & sell page, and getting rid of it all asap. Of course, I can’t just leave change lying around the house for my boys to snatch up, so I’ll find other treasure to buy 😀 I think it’s a pretty great system, and the boys love it, cuz they’re always getting cool “new” stuff 😀
Went to the optometrist today. After reviewing my file, the doctor wanted to see me sooner rather than later. The appointment went better than expected. Nothing physically wrong with my eyes. The astigmatism isn’t new, and hasn’t actually gotten worse – it seems, I’m just noticing it more now. She said that as I get older the muscles in my eyes will just get overworked faster. They knew I’d most likely eventually need glasses, but she would like to see if we can get some other tools in place first before jumping to glasses. She sent a referral to the CNIB (Canadian National Institute for the Blind) in Winnipeg. So I’ll wait for a call from them, and then go and see what kind of visual aids they have for me. So, the good news is that nothing is terribly wrong. The bad news? I was told by a professional thatI’m getting old 😀
I’ve been getting some decent headaches in the evenings lately. They were so regular last month that when I was 2 days “late”, I actually took a pregnancy test. Today, I realized where the headaches are stemming from.
My life began during an afair, after which my biological father beat my mother, trying to kill me. I suspect that my mother drank and possibly did drugs while pregnant with me. Only a short time into my life as an infant, she left me with a babysitter so she could go out partying. After a few days at the sitter with no returning mother, I was put into foster care. My mother lost custody of me in her court case when she couldn’t stay clean or provide a safe home for me. I was placed up for adoption, where my name was unofficially changed from Rhonda to Lisa. Before the adoption was complete, the couple was investigated, as I was in and out of the hospital with numerous injuries: hit my head on the coffee table, fell down the stairs…things like that. The couple lost me as well, and I was placed back into foster care. I was placed with a wonderful young couple who were unable to conceive a child of their own. I would stay with this couple as a permanent foster ward, and they would be my parents till this day. Mom rocked me for the first week, as I was inconsolable from the trauma I had endured. When I finally began to sit and play, she noticedthat I brought things very close to my face when I looked at them. Soon after this, I was diagnosed as having Optic Atrophy, which means that I am legally blind. This disorder was caused by Shaken Baby Syndrome while in the adoption home.
What can I actually see? Well since I don’t have anything to compare my vision to, I was told to discribe it this way: Perfect eye sight is 20/20, and the higher the bottom number, the poorer the vision. My left eye is 20/400 and my right eye is 20/800. So my right eye is pretty much useless to me, and what you can see at 400 feet away, I would have to be 20 feet from in order to see. It sounds bad, but I’ve learned to adjust, and am pretty comfortable with what I can see.
It’s a pretty tragic start to life, but I know that God has been with me at every step of this journey, and has made me a stronger woman through my trials. Most babies who live though situations like this, suffer mental and physical disabilities, but too often they end up dying before their first birthday. Not me. I know God’s using me, and my eye sight is a great tool 🙂
Last month I realized that my eye balls are different shapes. As I have Hypothyroidism, and too often forget to take my meds, this saddened, but didn’t surprise me too much. Since then though, I’ve noticed that I’ve developed astigmatism in my right eye, and because of that, I’ve been getting the headaches. This means it’s time to see an optometrist about getting glasses. To most people, finding out you need glasses is an inconvenience, but I’ve actually spent the afternoon in tears. One reason I don’t mind having low vision, is because I’ve learned to fake normalcy. I shoulder check for drivers in the car, I look when people point something out, and I don’t make long eye contact. Most of the time, even my closest friends forget about my vision, which is a huge compliment. To me, glasses will take that all away. People will see that I have lower vision, and their eyes will be drawn to my eyes. I’ve always been able to say “glasses can’t help my vision”, because it’s true. Even with glasses, my vision won’t improve. Glasses are only to relieve me of the headaches.
So now what? Well, I have an appointment with my optometrist on September 19th. Until then, I will just work on being thankful, and accepting this new phase of my life. Another idea I had is that I may be able to improve my vision a bit by using my right eye more – forcing my brain to fill in details, like it does with my left eye. It’s worth a try 🙂
I’ll let you know how things progress…
Ok, no excuses, I’ve been a slacker. Missed posting on Monday and Tuesday, and almost today as well.
Today I weighed in at 165obs. Not surprisingly, since my “aunt rose” decided to come visit me. So next week, I’m expecting to have at least a 2 pound loss 🙂
Sorry, I missed MM yesterday. Kayden’s teething, so if he wasn’t eating or having a cat nap, he was screaming. The only thing that would calm him was holding him while I walked from one end of the house to the other over and over. We tried Ori-gel, baby Tylenol and having him chew on a cold cloth – nothing but walking would sooth him, which left blogging time at a minimal. My oldest and youngest are asleep now, and Kaleb is watching a movie, so I have some time to myself.
Today’s Tackle is to photo proof my entire main floor today. To me, this means that at any time, I can take a picture of the kids, and not be embarrassed about what’s in the background. Strangely enough, I’m looking forward to the process 🙂
I weighed in this morning at 163lbs, which is a 2 pound loss from last week 🙂 I haven’t been doing anything too physical – just eating better and housework after our trip. I’m a little surprised at the loss, because I spent an afternoon with some ladies, and man oh man were those sweet treats the hostess made yummy! 🙂 I’ve also been making an effort to drink more water again, cuz I know that helps a lot.
Yikes, it’s a little wild around here, but I’m behind on my blogging, so for this moment, blogging is my priotity 🙂 Our sweet little Chica is going to her new home today. I had misunderstood that it was going to be yesterday, but it’s actually today. She’s been with us since 8 weeks old, and she is now 6.5 years old, so we’re pretty emotional about the transition. The good news is that she’s going to a friends’ house, so we’ll be able to visit her, and even petsit when my friend is out of town. It was a really hard decision that I’ve been battling with for about a year now.
So today I’m washing her clothes and bedding and gathering all her belingings from around the house, so it’s not a drawn-out good-bye. Some of you may be thinking this is a pretty silly thing to be so worked up about, but Chica’s been a big part of our lives, especially the boys’. She has been our security gaurd, baby sitter when I’m out of the room, playmate, “daughter”, snuggle buddy, and wonderful companion. She’s sweet, smart and attentive. She’s protective over us, and has even barked to get my attention when baby Kayden was scootching out of his seat at 2 weeks old. We love her and will miss her very much ❤
Well, she’s gone to her new home. Tears were shed, and we’ve each begun to deal with the loss in our own way. Kailer (8) is quiet and a bit upset with me, Kaleb (3) is quieter but easily distracted, and I’ve immersed myself in cleaning. I keep calling her out of habit, even though I know she’s not here. It’s obvious that this will take a while for me to get used to. I plan to wait a little while before I go see her. I need to get used to the idea that she now belongs to someone else, and that’s hard (tear).