Category Archives: Confessions Of A WAHM

Confessions Of A WAHM: Married Single Mom

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What is a married single mom?  Well, it’s exactly what it sounds like – a mother who tends to play both parent roles in the lives of her children.  There are many different circumstances in which this may occur: the father’s job may take him away from the family for extended periods of time, the parents may be separated, a step-father may have trouble bonding with his step children… The list goes on, but in each of these situations, the mother tends to take over and do her best to offer her children charactoristics typical of each parental figure.

I happen to be in a situation where this type of parenting has become a way of life.  I have an absolutely wonderful husband – loving, protective, doting, thoughtful, funny and a treat for the eyes.  He’s my very best friend, and I can’t imagine my life without him.  That being said, when it comes to parenting our four wonderful children, more often than not I’m on my own.  Mike is a great provider, and makes sure that all our phyxical needs are met, but anything beyond that falls on me.  We never planned it this way, but in all honesty, I created it.  When we had our first son, he became my world.  I didn’t nurture my relationship with Mike, and didn’t offer him any parenting responsibilities.  I was happy to do everything for and with Kailer, because I felt no one else would put the effort into him like me.  So Mike slipped further and further into the background while I became Kailer’s world and he mine.  Although Mike and I have grown closer as a couple through the years, I’ve continued to do everything for my kids while Mike takes a comfortable back seat.

IMG_0973Now that our brood has grown to four, aged 11 years, 5 years, 2 years, and 2 months, I’m feeling stretched a little too thin.  I’m okay feeling that way, but when my kids suffer because of it, something needs to change.  Kailer discovered the world of girls last April, and is wanting to date as soon as possible.  Kaleb is a bright kid and wants to learn everything he can as quickly as he can.  Kayden is testing limits and showing me that he needs more of my attention than I’ve been giving him, and Kianna is growing so fast and needs my attention to develope skils necessary for life.  All of my kids need their parents in different ways, but equally as much.  So starting today, they will begin receiving attention from BOTH of us.  I understand that I will always be the primary caregiver, and I love that fact, but Mike and I are happily married and will be parenting as partners from now on 🙂

I realize this will be a bit of a shock for Mike, so I’m going to ease him into it.

  • Guy time with Kailer (11 years)
  • reading with Kaleb (5 years)
  • numbers/letters with Kayden (2 years)
  • playtime with Kianna (2 months)

These are necessary relationship-building times, and also gives me time to spend with the other kiddos 🙂

Thrift Store Score

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This morning I visited my local MCC, and got 26 items that were priced at a total of $22.25, but because today is Bag Sale Day, I only paid $8.00, which is a savings of $14.25!  I also snagged a twin bed sheet for $1.50, and an entire 8 piece gender neutral nursery set for $5.00!!! 😀

I love shopping at MCC, and am a very proud supporter of the wonderful work they do in both our local communities and countries abroad.

Confession: Sometimes I Have To Actually Choose To Be Thankful

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So, my house isn’t even close to being clean, but I have no need of shelter, because I have a home.  Our vehicle costs much more than we were hoping, and uses a lot of gas, but it accommodates my family and is reliable.  My boys are loud and messy, but they’re healthy, and living proof of God’s love.  Today I choose to be thankful for what I have 🙂

Re-homing Our Fur Babies

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IMG_5556 IMG_5562-1        With baby on the way, I can feel the pressure mounting to get my home in pristine condition.  I find myself dealing with a lot of things that I’ve been let sliding – the amount of clothing we have, unhung photo frames, space, and pets.  I love our two cats Mocha and Alley, but I realize that they are adding to the chaos.  Just the fact that they use the litter box and then walk all around the house with dirty feet is bad enough for me.  So, I’ve struggled with, and finally made the tough division to re-home our cats.  I’ll start with Mocha (our Siamese), as Alley is pregnant, and I want to wait until the kittens are weened to re-home her.  Kailer is super attached to Alley, and I know that separation will be incredibly hard on him.  For that reason, I’ll be working on finding a home for her with friends or family, so that he can visit her.

Confession: Bag Sale Addict!

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I confess that I enjoy buying second-hand clothing for my family 🙂  This morning I went shopping at our local MCC store and spent a whole $8.00 on 22 items, which included maternity clothes, choir outfits and clothes for the boys.  The prices tags totaled $25.15, which makes today’s “Bag Sale” day savings $17.15!  Score one for the thrifty mommy! 😀

Confession: Bag Sale Bargainer

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I love being a thrift shopper 😀  “Buy used – Save the difference.” as the Duggers say 😀

Today, I went to our local MCC store and got 16 items of clothing for $8.00, because I shopped on Bag Sale day.  Any other day, this would have cost me $13.50, and had I bought this stuff in a retail store, it would have cost me about $100 for the kids’ clothes and $70 for me – on the low price end.  My best finds were a GAP turtleneck for me, jeans for Kailer, a MARVEL heroes zip-up sweater for Kaleb, and a lined PLEASE MUM vest.  I only bought this bag full of clothes, because I got rid of a whole lot of clothes lately 🙂

Confession: Blabbin’ WAHM

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There’s no theme to this post – just sharing my thoughts 🙂

IMG_3665I’m finding that I’m very restless as of late.  I get this feeling every now and then, and it drives me crazy!  It’s like there’s this event that I need to prepare for – only, there’s not!  😀  It’s the weirdest feeling, but leaves me feeling anxious and unprepared.  It goes away eventually, but until then, I find myself starting lots of little projects, to try and pinpoint what’s wrong 🙂
I’m wondering if it’s just the fact that winter is coming. I do remember feeling this at the end of winter as well. Could it really be that simple?  Weird.  Well then, I suppose I’ll just start preparing for winter, and see if that helps 🙂

I’ve also been thinking about quitting childcare.  That’s also an odd thought.  I’ve been doing childcare for years, and I enjoy it, but the thought of quitting just keeps crossing my mind.  It’s just a bit of a confusing time right now, but I’m becoming cool with it 🙂  God said this is my year of “Transition”, so I’m holding on to the fact that all this is His plan, not mine, so I don’t need to know what’s ahead, just willing to take the steps forward, letting him guide me 🙂

Things that I’m feeling an urgency about:

  • eternity of my family
  • Mike’s mental health
  • state of my house
  • organization in my life
  • my health (suspecting cancer)
  • Preparing for 2015 – yes, not 2014 🙂