Welcome to another Minimalist Monday 🙂
Today I’m gathering up everything that needs to be sold or donated, organizing it, and getting it out of the house asap. The tricky part is the kitten 😦 Kailer brought the stray home a little while ago, and she’s decided this is now her home. It’s not. The boys keep letting her inside though – even Mike, who says he doesn’t want any pets at this time 🙂 She’s adorable, but she just adds to the chaos, and now that we have our Christmas tree up, when she’s in the house, ornaments are constantly being knocked off of it. I promised Kailer that when we have a bigger place in the country, we’ll have pets, but at this time, it’s just not a good idea.
A thought just crossed my mind, and I’m not a fan of it. Could I be struggling with adult ADHD? Oh boy 😦 My husband is the one with mental illniss in his family, and I’ve been comfortable letting him carry that burdon, while I’m his support. Our son has been diagnosed as having ADHD, and we just assumed it was passed down from Mike. The truth is that I don’t know much about my family history, as I was in foster care growing up. But the more I think about it, the more it makes since that I may have ADHD as well. I struggled the entire way through school, and even showed signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). I’ve always known that my struggle to keep up with life is unusual, but always figured it was possibly a mind case of Fetal Alchohal Effect (FAE). I wasn’t hyper, but the ADD syptoms fit too well. My OCD symptoms include
- equalityl – cereal amounts that I chew on each side of my mouth (past & current)
- Turning – If I turn one way, I feel the urge to turn the other way to even if out (controllable)
- symmetry – Unsymmetrical layouts annoy me (controllable)
- folding – If I’m given a paper to write on, I will fold it in half first (past & current)
This is something I will definitely do research on, but it does explain a whole lot – Why I feel overwhelmed by chaos, have the mentality that if it’s not going to be perfect, I can’t do it, and am the most ambitious when I get a caffeine surge.. Yikes! Needing prayer for this one please 🙂
I’ve got this amazing life – wonderful husband, great kids, beautiful home, fantastic friends…and I unintentionally take all of these for granted. Each day is an inner struggle to accomplish things I want to do in order to not take these for granted, and each day I feel is a failure. I set goals I don’t reach, I make lists I don’t finish, and it’s a terrible feeling, because my life has the potential to be incredible, if I would just keep up with it. I feel like each day I climb this slippery slope, and at the end of each day, I find myself once again buried my the ground that’s been shifting beneath me. I’ve had this struggle ever since I can remember, and I don’t think this is a “normal” thing that people struggle with.
I was reading back in my blog, and found my annual word for 2012. Each January, God gives me a word for that year, and this year’s word was PURPOSE. Now things seems clearer. I strive for purpose on a daily basis. I mean, my life is a success story, but I seem to be a failure. This isn’t a pitty party at all, and I’m not depressed in the least – just perplexed and overwhelmed. I mean, I’m a wife and a mother – it’s what I’ve wanted to be since I was little. I have everything I need to reach my goals. So why is this so difficult?
Sorry for the rant. I suppose there was really no point, except just to get it out. Thanks for your time and support. A new day has begun, and I will try again 🙂
On days like today, I’m very thankful that I chose to graduate. I did so with a marketing major, which I have never regretted. I definitely have a business mind, and the drive in this area. One flaw that’s been born of that combination though is that when I see a business venture, I tend to become overbearing and one-track minded. I have a bit of an obsessiveness when it comes to business. This became apparent to me when my husband sat down with me and asked me gently to back off when it comes to his photography business. He said he is content where he is, and my obsessiveness and pushing to become beginning to suck the fun out of what he does. Wow. I had never even stopped to consider that he may not want to expand. I was taught that you never settle in business, but strive to grow and branch out when and where possible. So his statement was a pretty big shock to me. I wasn’t insulted or anything like that, just shocked.
So I’ve decided to transfer my obsession to my own projects – being a housewife and opening a home daycare. Redirection can be pretty great, especially when it comes out of love 🙂 Thank you sweetness!
Yep, it’s true, I’m a lazy friend. I’m friendly, but when I make friends, I don’t tend to nurture that friendship as I should. Case and point – my 3 closest girl friends from school. Here’s the story:
I had just moved, and was now the new kid in the third grade. A small group of girls immediately welcomed me into their circle. We became inseparable throughout elementary school. Our group of friends grew in junior high, but we remained close. I moved to a different town in the summer I was sixteen, and that’s when everything changed. The group of my three friends remained closely bonded, but it was harder for me to hang out with them due to the distance. Too suddenly, the distance between us grew to be more than just physical, and eventually, we stopped communicating altogether. I see the girls now and then around town, as I’ve moved back to my hometown, but there’s an awkwardness now.
Today I met up with two of the three girls at a play group where we brought out kids. I ached to hug them and apologize for my part in our friendship breakdown, but I didn’t. Instead, I held polite conversation and small talk. Now that I’m here at home, I see what a coward I was, and how I yet again, allowed a great oportunity slip through my fingers. NOT AGAIN! This has been a regret for far too long, and it’s time I do something about it. Starting today, I vow to invest in the lives of my friends, and be proactive in nurturing my friendships, because they are precious.
I haven’t written out my daily to-do list in a while, but I have a terrible memory, and a thoughsand things to do this weekend, so today is definitely a to-do list kind of day 🙂 So here it is:
- make reservations for Cheryl’s birthday
get Kailer’s pill refill
arrange to have Kailer’s pills picked up
call Anna’s House to book a taxi
make arrangements to have Kai transferred to Oma’s
pack Kai’s overnight bag
call church to get details for baby dedication class
- do my daily Project 365 clean
- scrapbook my Project 365 clean
- do laundry
Yep, lots to get done, and the timing is tricky, as today’s a busy day as it is. So here I go…
For some reason, I continue to fail with every attempt I make at becoming a great domestic diva. I mean, Minimalist Mondays and Tackle It Tuedays help, but I want my home to be somewhere I’m comfortable, and not afraid to play hostess in. For these reasons, I’m trying something new, in order to keep myself accountable in my housekeeping endeavor – a Project 365 scrapbook. Yep. I began on October 31st, and so far, it’s going alright. I’m not sure why it didn’t cross my mind earlier – combining my favorite creative pass-time, and my daily duties. It is kinda brilliant 🙂
So, I’m going to start a new Menu Page called Project 365, and post all the pages there. Look for it shortly…