I’ve got this amazing life – wonderful husband, great kids, beautiful home, fantastic friends…and I unintentionally take all of these for granted. Each day is an inner struggle to accomplish things I want to do in order to not take these for granted, and each day I feel is a failure. I set goals I don’t reach, I make lists I don’t finish, and it’s a terrible feeling, because my life has the potential to be incredible, if I would just keep up with it. I feel like each day I climb this slippery slope, and at the end of each day, I find myself once again buried my the ground that’s been shifting beneath me. I’ve had this struggle ever since I can remember, and I don’t think this is a “normal” thing that people struggle with.
I was reading back in my blog, and found my annual word for 2012. Each January, God gives me a word for that year, and this year’s word was PURPOSE. Now things seems clearer. I strive for purpose on a daily basis. I mean, my life is a success story, but I seem to be a failure. This isn’t a pitty party at all, and I’m not depressed in the least – just perplexed and overwhelmed. I mean, I’m a wife and a mother – it’s what I’ve wanted to be since I was little. I have everything I need to reach my goals. So why is this so difficult?
Sorry for the rant. I suppose there was really no point, except just to get it out. Thanks for your time and support. A new day has begun, and I will try again 🙂