Confession: Slippery Slope

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I’ve got this amazing life – wonderful husband, great kids, beautiful home, fantastic friends…and I unintentionally take all of these for granted. Each day is an inner struggle to accomplish things I want to do in order to not take these for granted, and each day I feel is a failure.  I set goals I don’t reach, I make lists I don’t finish, and it’s a terrible feeling, because my life has the potential to be incredible, if I would just keep up with it.  I feel like each day I climb this slippery slope, and at the end of each day, I find myself once again buried my the ground that’s been shifting beneath me.  I’ve had this struggle ever since I can remember, and I don’t think this is a “normal” thing that people struggle with.

I was reading back in my blog, and found my annual word for 2012.  Each January, God gives me a word for that year, and this year’s word was PURPOSE.  Now things seems clearer.  I strive for purpose on a daily basis.  I mean, my life is a success story, but I seem to be a failure.  This isn’t a pitty party at all, and I’m not depressed in the least – just perplexed and overwhelmed.  I mean, I’m a wife and a mother – it’s what I’ve wanted to be since I was little.  I have everything I need to reach my goals.  So why is this so difficult?

Sorry for the rant.  I suppose there was really no point, except just to get it out.  Thanks for your time and support.  A new day has begun, and I will try again 🙂

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